This Viral “Would You Rather” Question is Absolutely Heartbreaking

Over the last few weeks, my social media feeds have been flooded with women asking the men in their lives one question. The answer is usually the same, and the hard truth this answer exposes is devastating.

The question is, ” Would you rather your daughter be stranded in the woods with a bear or a man?” No other details are given; the man must answer based on that alone. After some consideration, every man dropped his head and said, “The bear.”

@liliannawilde the lightbulb that goes off in his brain when he realizes that the safer choice is bear… @Sean Kolar asking my husband the man or bear in the woods question #manorbear #manvsbear #greenflag #husband #husbandwife ♬ original sound – Lilianna Wilde

Women respond in the thousands with a resounding, “We would choose the bear, EVERY single time.”

At first, I didn’t think much of this, but then, while watching the news tonight, it hit me. Women are not safe in this society from men. Women are not safe from comments, unwanted advances, assault, and abuse ranging from mental to physical to everywhere in between.

It is 2024, and we are not safe.

Our dads would rather send their little girls out into the woods with a carnivorous wild animal than with a man—any man. It doesn’t state a bad man, a convict, or a certain social status; even men admit that the bear is a safer option.

@ariel_hendrixx

♬ original sound – ariel hendrix

Responses from women list the reasons they feel safer with the bear and they include:

• At the least the bear wont make me feel bad about myself
• At least the bear wont make me cry and feel alone after
• The bear will eat me and get it over with; it won’t toy with me for years first.
• The bear is somewhat predictable.
• I choose the bear because I won’t have to face the bear again

I guess I’ve always known this but never really thought about it in these terms. I’ve traveled and hiked solo all over the world. I’ve even been surprised by wildlife on trails, but I’ve never felt threatened or worried. However, on numerous occasions, I have felt my senses tingle and heighten when a man walks quickly behind me on a hike or is down too many of the same aisles in a grocery store.

Once, my husband pulled into a parking spot in between two big black SUVs with dark windows. I was shocked and said” You are just going to park between them, what if they grab us?” The thought genuinely never occurred to him, and I thought, “Must be nice.”

@dadchats

This is America 🐻 👨

♬ original sound – dadchats

Must be nice not to have to strategically plan every move you are going to make, and ensure you have a panic button and escape plan ready at all times.

Men Do Better

Don’t come for me on this. I don’t hate men. I don’t think all men are inherently evil. I was in an abusive marriage for over a decade, and the lasting effects are daily and horrific, but I don’t think all men are this way.

Assuming you aren’t the man we need to fear, you can do your part to make the women around you safer by:

• Listening actively and respectfully when women express their concerns and fears.
• Calling out and correcting misogynistic behaviors and comments among peers.
• Being aware of your surroundings and how your actions might be perceived, especially in isolated settings.
• Supporting and promoting policies and programs that enhance safety and justice for women.
• Engaging in community education efforts to address and change harmful gender norms and behaviors.

Women Empower Yourselves

While the responsibility for women’s safety should not fall solely on women, empowering oneself is also a crucial step. Here are some ways women can assert their safety:

• Take self-defense classes to boost confidence and self-reliance in potentially dangerous situations.
• Stay aware of your surroundings and trust your instincts; if something feels off, it probably is.
• Use technology to your advantage: share your location with trusted friends or family when traveling alone.
• Advocate for your own safety by supporting and initiating conversations about public safety reforms and gender-based violence.

@mommamerks Asking my daughter the bear vs. man question. We have to teach them early!!! #momsoftiktok #bearormandebate ♬ original sound – Sarah | Motherhood & Nursing

Societal Change Is Needed

We must confront the underlying issues that contribute to a society where women feel safer with a bear than with a man. This requires cultural shifts and systemic reforms. We need:

• Stricter enforcement and tougher penalties for gender-based violence.
• Comprehensive education programs start at a young age to teach respect and equality.
• Better support systems for survivors of abuse, including accessible mental health resources.
• A public commitment from leaders in all sectors to address and prioritize women’s safety and rights.

The path to a safer society for women is long and complex, but it starts with each of us taking responsibility for our actions and attitudes.

Together, we can create a world where the answer to that haunting question is neither ‘the bear’ nor ‘the man,’ but where safety is a given, not a privilege.

It’s time for all of us to bear the responsibility and ensure that no one has to choose the lesser of two threats. We owe it to our daughters, mothers, friends, and ourselves. Let’s not just hope for a safer world; let’s build it.